In pursuit of Truth

Reflection of a Revolution

2008-05-02T16:33:00.003-04:00

I have been having thoughts lately about how limited our time is here on earth. We can be here one minute and gone the next. One of my beloved colleagues, Lauren, passed away on April 29, 2008. She was a young woman with a loving husband and 2 loving daughters. She was physically fit but unfortunately she suffered a brain aneurysm that took her life. Again this makes me wonder a couple of things. We are so consumed with life’s short comings as well as what will happen in the future. “The past and the future only exist in our minds.” I am consumed about what will happen that I am totally missing out on what IS happening. The thing is, our lives are not guaranteed. We can be here one hour and be gone the next. We can live healthy lives, like in the case of Lauren and still be taken by illness because it was time for us to come home. So, I have been thinking…What am I doing to make an impact? My question of course reminded me of Bobby’s last Revolution Service, “Give and Take”. He mentioned, “Back in high school my superlative was; ‘I rather have them ask why there is no monument for me than why there is one.’ I am sure I butchered this quote Bobby and I apologize. But this has been going through my mind. I don’t want to be famous; I just want to help in revolutionizing our society towards a movement of Love. Let us ask ourselves, have we done anything nice for anyone lately? Not to be recognized that we did something nice, but because we wanted to? Because it was in our heart, it was a part of our culture, because that’s what God would do for us. Are we recognizing those who are trying to reach out, those who are in need? Are we providing extra grace to those who might get us upset to those who don’t deserve it? We say that we are the Revolution, but what are we doing to revolutionize our society? Let’s start with this Element, let’s start with loving one another. Let’s tell each other how much we appreciate each other, let’s be there when another falls down, when another is in need. Let’s start to become a family, a body of Christ. Then and only then will people see us for who we really are, the light of Christ, the hope of the world.

” Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Ephesians 5:1-2

The Truth

2008-04-21T09:21:00.001-04:00

So at church yesterday this video was presented to everyone. It BLEW ME AWAY, and I just wanted to share this with everyone. Enjoy! Be Blessed!

I'll take a Venti cup of Faith with Some Sugar in the Raw...

2008-04-17T13:48:00.004-04:00

So I went to a single’s ministry last night with Steve Canipe called 97 West. As much as I wanted to come with no expectations, you all probably know that my bar was high. So Steve and I went to meet up one of his friends, which by the way made the night a whole lot better...and we headed to the service. I wondered…is this going to be as strong and as sweet as the original or just watered down with some sugary substitute?

We arrived and I had an instant whiff of familiarity. I had a sense of comfort. I had 20-somethings worshipping God for who He is! After worship, we sat and listened to the Pastor speak about being "salt". He referenced Matthew 5:13 –"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.” He proceeded to say that we needed to love by example. We need to show those who are not saved or even those who are believers, who God really is...by who we are. My neck started to hurt for nodding up and down so much! There were some things I didn't agree with, some things I did, some things that made me question his message and how he was tying it in with scripture. But are having questions wrong? If I have questions about faith does that make me any less of a Christian? It makes me think that I have questions because God allowed me to have them, because the scary thought is to NOT have any questions. An even scarier thought is to think that we know EVERYTHING. Maybe I’m spoiled by having an amazing pastor that knows that we DON’T have everything together and that we need to "figure this whole life thing out together". Or maybe having questions is all a part of everyone's spiritual maturity phase. It makes me wonder sometimes we tend to say we worship God, but we tend to consistently worship the bible. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love reading the Bible just as much as the next person, but what about knowing who God REALLY is and what He stands for…and then emulating THAT. Because I think that when we go up to heaven it’s not that he’ll say, “Well done my good and faithful servant. You effectively answered everyone’s question by referencing it out of scripture.” but I think the reason why he gives us questions is because he wants us to seek out the truth…because that means we are seeking out HIM.

"DING! You are now free to move about my heart"

2008-04-12T16:05:00.004-04:00

So today has been nothing less of yet another day, well with the exception of being in such a crappy mood. In a matter of 7 hours I have managed to put myself in the middle of Blahsville, USA. Have I finally reached my destination or am I going no where fast?

I don't know why so much "stuff" affects me so. I don't know if I "care too much" or if I am "too nice". I have been pondering the thought, "what would happen if I just stopped caring?" I have been here plenty of times due to the different circumstances in my life. I have taken the mentality of "whatever, I don't really care cause as soon as start, something else gets ripped out". As you probably read in some old postings, I have some things in my head that make me either act or think irrationally. yes yes, the ever so evil insecurities. I guess the reason I revert to the "I don't really care anymore Jeff" is so I don't have to deal with the issues I have. In the same sense though, I alienate people when I get in this mindset. I tend to put up the wall of security and start getting pretty comfortable in my little "castle tower of complacency". I don't know. It feels like this smile is starting to wear out its luster. This laugh has started to become just a mere memory. I want to start being real with my feelings with others in all of its glory. Good, bad and ugly.

Are you kidding me?

2008-04-10T22:59:00.005-04:00

I was laying in bed when I got a text from Jen letting me know how much God has been good to her because "He is always there when I need Him." Maybe I didn't get it. I was looking at Francis Chan's site and I ran into a video that really hit me. I talk about God like He's just a normal person, without regard, without the awe He deserves. Our God is AMAZING! I just realized that he is just way out of our comprehension. He made the heavens and the earth and everything in between. I tend to think of myself in my little world and fail to see that there is so much out there that we can't even see! I don't know, I guess I was just blown away at the fact that our God can make such an expansive place as our Universe, but still has the time and heart to love me in all my failures, to care about me in all of my worries and to provide for me in my need. And on top of that He would want to know me? Simply put, all I can say is...
"Wow God"

Flame

2008-03-30T23:04:00.004-04:00

Just a little rob bell to put things into perspective for me

Art is in the Eye of the Beholder

2008-03-22T17:26:00.004-04:00

Go ahead and try to control the uncontrollable! See where you'll get. Is it really worth your time and sanity? Cause what happens over and over again will always be the same no matter what. Doing the same thing but expecting different results.....hmmm.....isn't that the definition of.....what was it???

Those thoughts were in my head the past couple of days. I have been thinking about some stuff in my life. and just keep wondering..Why do we always make the same bad judgment calls?? Ok ok, I know that we are all human, we are all foolish, we are all mistake prone, but when do we decide enough is enough? When do we actually decide the point where we REALLY learn our lesson and move on??

I was listnening to a great podcast from the Cornerstone Church, yes yes that's the home of Francis Chan, The topic for the day was Grace and Pain. The rhetorical question was "Why does God let bad things happen to good people?" The answer completely floored me! " The trials that God places in our lives are completely necessary." Are you kidding me? So you're telling me that all the crap, and pain, and heartache, and all the other stuff that really sucks is because it's neccessary for something? I started thinking...What kind of plan is he preparing me for?? Its like God has all these colors of paint...The different colors of pain...HE splatters them around and from the beginning we don't know what is going on, nor do we know what he is creating. But I guess God needs all the colors in order to make the wonderful tapestry that is our life. I guess that if we say that we trust God, lets ACTUALLY trust Him. Hey, I'm pointing the finger at my own forehead and I think its starting to get red now. I guess what I'm learning is...does it all really matter? All the things we become so concerned with in our lives, all the crap we worry our minds with, all the fears that control our wellbeing and mental peace? Is it really worth being bent out of shape considering our ultimate goal, which is to hear that we are a good and faithful servant. It kinda puts into perspective. It's funny though, I'll probably write about this same topic next month and the month after and the month after that. So, lets do this..lets be honest with ourselves and lets live in truth. Lets get rid of these rose colored glasses we have been using for so long and look at the reality which is our lives, and then...let us trust in God. He has everything planned, everything worked out for our good and His glory. As bad or as dark it can get in our lives, lets trust that the finished product is more glorious than we can ever imagine!!

The Red Ones Smell The Best

2008-03-18T01:02:00.005-04:00

My mind usually runs at approximately 374.067 miles per hour. I think that’s what I clocked it at the last time…A good friend asked me this evening, “ When you go home...you must either pass out right away or stay up all night..” I hated to agree that it was the later of the two. It makes me wonder (surprise! surprise!)…Am I missing out on life cause I don’t stop and smell the roses??

I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of over analyzing things… did I turn off my laptop and lights before I left the house?? Am I going to the gym after work or am I going to hang out with friends tonight?? What’s going to happen with the Home Churches?? Where is the next Nourish event going to be held?? Are we going to have to wait 2 hours for a table?? Does she like me?? How does my hair look??(Yeah, I have to be honest that question comes up a lot) I get so preoccupied with so many questions and worries that it tends to be time consuming. I think that if I put more effort in realizing what’s going on around me, and less time focusing on things I can’t necessarily control, a lot of those questions would be answered. I have come to the realization; I don’t have any control over anything. I need to stop thinking I can remedy everything by just analyzing the situation and trying to figure out a solution. I can’t even fix myself for goodness sake! You know what?? This is completely fine. God doesn’t want us to fix each other, or else why would we need Him?? Instead he wants us to lay ALL of our “junk” at his feet. He wants us to have him sort through our pillowcase full of good values, unfailing faith and love towards one another, and he’ll get rid of the occasional “unwrapped Tootsie Rolls”.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light “–Matthew 11:28

I have read this scripture so so So SO many times but it really hit me tonight. It’s like God was asking me, “Why are you juggling all these knives? Don’t you know you’ll eventually cut yourself? Why not give them to me and relax. I have it all taken care of.” I have accepted Jesus in my life as my Savior, so that means I’m saved right? So why don’t I act like it? Shouldn’t I rejoice and celebrate because my life is now redeemed? But for some reason I’d rather go and sacrifice myself day after day over meaningless worries. I have written over six times that I trust God will be there for me and that he will be my provision, and I truly believe it…So then, why the endless laundry lists of questions?

When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.

In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me? –Psalm56:3-4

Here is my prayer for us all:
Lord, let us live out our lives in true peace,
Let our hearts be still yet let our passion burn for you God.
Help us trust you whole heartedly and without fail.
Give us a desire to live out your truth,
A desire to be more like you...
Because you God are Love...

“Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”-Philippians 4:8-9

Community

2008-03-06T13:08:00.004-05:00

So I was writing another blog entry about authenticity because that’s what we are talking about in church, but I think GOD wanted me to talk about Community. Stay tuned for the authenticity blog…

Community- n. 1: a unified body of individuals: a group linked by a common policy 2a: joint ownership or participation b: common character : likenes c: social activity : fellowship

What is it like to build a sense of community as well as build a culture within that community? The definition kinda sums up what community really is. Community is a large group of people with a general commonality. What unites our community? Personally, I want a society full of Love and Grace. So a couple of Thursday’s ago, I went to the latest Element Info Meeting. Bobby was talking about how we are going to transition from Revo to Element. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m on an emotional roller coaster when it comes to the transition. Part of me is very excited, while the other is scared to death. Well the main vision of this church is to “be the church”. “Church is not 4 walls, and a place you attend, but it’s who we are and what defines our identity.” I’ll be honest with everyone, ever since I started attending Revolution; it felt like my life has been going in the right direction, it felt like I have been building my identity. I’m not saying that I don’t know who I am, I’m just saying that I have learned so much during my time at Revo. I have built so many wonderful relationships with people, I have built my life on God’s foundation and I have truly found myself. It scares me to see Revolution end, and have nothing to smoothly transition to. It really does feel like Revo was my second family and this whole situation kinda reminds me of Mike D’s going away service. He said “You never really know what you have until it is gone.”

So now that Revolution is coming to a close, and Element Church is just revving up, we are tasked to build a sense of community. Come to think about it, there are about 70-80% of the people that attend Revo that are probably going to Element. The other 20-30% of the Revolutionaries attend their own church on Sunday’s and some will stay with the Crossing. So how do we build this community? As you probably read in my last blog, I am going to have a Home Church. This will consist of 10 or so people (slightly larger than a small group). I have been wrestling with the idea of where when and how this Home Church will happen. All I know is the home church will be stripped down to its basic core. God has been placing in my heart these 3 areas: Celebrate ME. Formulate Deep Relationships With Each Other. Love Others Without Falter. And just to make sure I got that through my thick stubborn skull he showed me this:

“Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!” - Philippians 4:3

On top of this Nourish (www.myspace.com/NRSH) will still hold strong. I think God’s vision for Nourish is to unite everyone; those who aren’t going to Element as well as those who might have “fallen through the cracks.” Nourish is a group of individuals in search of GOD as well as good food. We journey through Tampa Bay to experience each other as well as experience new cuisine. I would like to see the Nourish Events be the celebration of what values Revo stood for, and what it brought so many people; a sense of belonging. So my challenge to everyone is to plant our seeds within each other, I mean really try. Let’s burrow our roots so deep that even when the Revolution services end, the actual Revolution will begin!

“Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.

So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.”

-Galatians 6:8-10

Finally!

2008-02-28T16:58:00.005-05:00

So here I am. 2 unfinished blogs, one week no food, and 1 amazing night at church, and here I am. Honestly I have been struggling trying to find what topic to write about. It didn't really hit me until tonight.

So 2 unfinished blogs. Yeah I am pretty good about the consistency of writing in my blogs. But lately I haven't had the words to finish them. I started with Authenticity because that's what I was learning from my pastor. Then, I started writing about building community, because that is what's been on my heart. Although both are great topics and both are meaningful, I just couldn't find the means to finish them. Maybe that's a blog for a later time. Many of you know that I have been on a fast for a week (thank goodness it's finished). I know that the left hand isn't supposed to know what the right is doing, but I must bear witness to what I've been through. So my "fast" consisted of no solid food, just water, a coffee here and there as well as a protein shake (limited to about 3 a day). I realized that when a person fasts, it more of a mental struggle more than a physical one. Granted, the growling stomach and frequent dizzy spells might contradict my case, but as soon as I figured that I wasn't in "need" of what I'm so used to taking advantage of, I was ok. Let me tell you, I saw the world in a whole new light. The whole reason for my fast was multi-level. First and most important reason was to build a better relationship with GOD. The other reason was because there were so many things on my mind at the time and I wanted to lift them up to GOD. Day 1 wasn't so bad, kinda hungry but it was tolerable. Day 2-3 was a little more difficult. By the last day, I was fine again. I trusted that GOD would take care of me, and he did. I never though I could've lasted 1 week with no real food in my stomach and not be cranky. But GOD was walking there beside me helping me with every step and everyday. I thank HIM, I also thank Chris for his words of encouragement. There was a day that I doubted why I was doing the fast, but Chris brought me back to realize why.

So you're probably asking what happened at church monday that could've sparked a blog that I could actually finish. Well…. The message tonight was about "American Consumer Christians". To dwell in this a little deeper, an American Consumer Christian is a term that was used to describe the believers that are more into what the church looks like, than why we even go to church in the first place. It makes me wonder, do we have it too good? I've been thinking, how would it be without the perfect worship band, comfy chairs, announcement videos and flavored coffee? Would I still go to hear the word of GOD? Would I still look forward to church? I was reading "Jim and Casper Go to Church" (an amazing book by the way) and in one chapter;Casper (the atheist) made a comment about one of the megachurches. He said that the worship was a little too manicured and staged rather than a true worship, and that people were missing out on the reason for worship. You know what? I'm guilty of that too. How do I describe my church? "Wow! You need to come to my church! It was some amazing worship, silly announcement videos, quirky people and hey you also have some great coffee!" I don't have anything wrong with all this, but what happened to the GOD Spirit in the building? What happened to the church changing my life and the lives of others? Am I missing the point? I know I know I really don't have a problem with having all those things, and I understand that it lends for more people to "check it out". But what if we were to spread the Good News with such excitement and vibrancy where it becomes contagious? What if we would spread the love by doing, not by singing? Wouldn't you think people would want to "check it out then"? Don't you think people would be drawn to that excitement?

Dear children let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. John3:18

"He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved" Mark 16:15

So as you have all been reading in some of my past entries, GOD has wanted me to get into leadership within the church, and you all know that I have been wrestling him on that topic. I have decided to trust him and start a "home-church", which is similar to a small group. Here is how HE's telling me to make it different. There will be no chairs, probably no flavored coffee, and no amazing worship band (although we will have some sort of worship). What we will have is community, accountability, fellowship, a sense of ownership and belonging as well as some serious GOD presence! I want to take the "American Consumer Christian" mindset out of the picture. I want to make it about GOD, and about people. Will people show up? I don't know. Will those who do show up experience GOD and walk away with something? I trust GOD will make his presence known. I don't know if this came to mind when I was fasting or when I was listening to Scott preach at Revo last Monday, but I always wanted a small group that also was a simplified to the core, but made a huge impact within the community. I don't know, maybe that's what I'm supposed to bring to this "Table"…..Well for now, I'll wrestle and wait.

"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace." Matt 6:6

Obedience

2008-02-06T14:02:00.001-05:00

Salutations all!! I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to inform everyone how GOD has been shaking up my world. For the past couple of weeks, I have been wondering, “What’s God’s purpose for me?” I have been wrestling with a lot of ideas. One main suggestion that keeps coming up is “why don’t you become a pastor??” Well there are plenty of reasons why. The main reason would be that I am not well versed to be able to teach effectively. Maybe that’s just me rejecting the idea that I can actually bring insight to people. That just creeps me out. I thought that I would be done with culinary school, working for a 5 star restaurant and possibly thinking of opening my own. Come to think of it, nothing I have planned has come into fruition. Maybe that’s GOD saying, “Look Jeff, you think that you have everything together, but you can’t do anything without ME.” I think that I have “lived” life so long trying to be in control of everything, when in reality, I have control of nothing.

So recently, I have come to the fact that everything is planned. Everything happens for a reason. My brother and I were talking a couple of nights ago, and he was saying that if he could change something about his life, he would change not finishing school. Of course our conversation came after my revelation. So my response to him was in the likes of: “Because you didn’t finish college, you work harder; you have a stronger sense of work ethics, maybe it was supposed to happen that way.” I still would never imagine someone coming up to me saying that I needed to get into the ministry. I still can’t fathom it. All I can do is accept whatever calling GOD is giving me.

Last night at Revolution (www.revolution813.com) Chris Elrod a pastor from Lakeland (www.chriselrod.com) came in to speak. His message really hit home for me. He spoke about a man named Phillip and his obedience to GOD. The Scripture states: “God's angel spoke to Philip: "At noon today I want you to walk over to that desolate road that goes from Jerusalem down to Gaza." He got up and went.”- Acts 8:26. Why do we have such a hard time being this obedient? Hey I am the last person to say that I have been nothing but….it’s quite the reverse as you can already tell. God told Moses to go, and he went. God told Noah to build and he built. I think God is telling us to move. God is telling us to not be stale and lukewarm, but to make a difference.

“I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, 'I'm rich, I've got it made, I need nothing from anyone,' oblivious that in fact you're a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless.” Revelation 3:15-17

So here is what I am deciding. First let me tell you how excited I am to be a part of this! Well, I should probably say this is a two part involvement in ministry. First, God gave me the idea of starting an “in-group”. In-group?? What is that??? Well I’m glad you asked! An in-group, for those who don’t know, is an interest group designed for fellowship and possibly for other splendid things…..no, not dating… but more so that these groups might open a different perspective about who Christians are. So my in-group’s central theme is food…Duh right?? Instead of a gym in-group, I chose an eating in-group! Funny huh? I get off track… So, I met with my pastor to discuss some ideas for the group, and he mentioned that he wanted me to be a part of the leadership group for his new church. I was floored!! It felt that God smacked me in the face and told me to get with it. I kept thinking that I wasn’t groomed to be a leader or even be part of the leadership at a church. For a while now, I have been praying for vision; for purpose; but in the same sense, denying the vision that kept coming up. Hearing what I heard couldn’t be any clearer.

“Do what your king commands; you gave a sacred oath of obedience. Don't worryingly second-guess your orders or try to back out when the task is unpleasant. You're serving his pleasure, not yours. The king has the last word. Who dares say to him, "What are you doing?" Carrying out orders won't hurt you a bit; the wise person obeys promptly and accurately. Yes, there's a right time and way for everything, even though, unfortunately, we miss it for the most part. It's true that no one knows what's going to happen, or when.”

- Ecclesiastes 8:2

So here I am, in control of a restaurant in-group and in consideration of helping lead and organize small groups/ in-groups for a church! Yeah it’s a far cry from being a chef huh? You know what though; I have come to the realization that even this plan may not go how I might expect it. But I guess that’s the exciting part of God’s plan for us. We know that we are in good hands. We know that HE wants nothing but the best for us. Maybe we should take a step back from trying to control our lives all the time and just trust that it will work out.

“It’s not arriving at point B that makes you happy, but it’s the journey that we should all take time to enjoy.” –Mike Deserio

GOD, Relationships and Patience

2008-01-31T15:26:00.001-05:00

Greetings! Here is another attempt for me to break out of my “comfort zone” and become more transparent. As you guys already know if you have been reading my blog, I am following GOD’s message to be more open with myself in order to break free of my fears in life.

Ok let’s get started. So I was talking to one of my colleagues, (he is a single’s pastor outside of our workplace) and he was telling me about what he was doing with his ministry. Of course being single, I was intrigued. He told me to write down 10 things or attributes that I would like to see in a “significant other”. He told me, “take your time” and, “put some serious thought in this list”. Of course I had some “core values” I already looked for in a person, but to have 10? I had to sit down and think. So below are the 10 attributes:

10 attributes in no specific order except for #1

1. Must have a relationship with Christ.

a. I would like to have someone that shares the same values in life as I have. Jesus must be the focus, and they should have a GOD-centric mindset. This is the ONLY foundation for a successful relationship.

2. Should be Family Oriented

a. I would like the individual to be close to their family because I am close to mine. I have a large family and they mean a lot to me.

3. Be able to communicate

a. I am a talker I like talking to people about anything. I would like to see the individual be strong minded and opinionated.

4. Would like to experience new and different things in life.

a. This is something that I look for in a person because this shows me how open they are to try new things. New food, new adventures (ie skydiving!) and I always think that a person should always look to improve themselves. We aren’t perfect right??

5. Honesty

a. Honesty is very very important. I have been lied to in past relationships and I do not care to be in a relationship that revolves around lies. Be honest with yourself first and have a honest heart for others

6. Places others before self

a. This is how I am. I try (of course I say try cause there are times when I just think about myself) to place others before my well being. I love to volunteer, and one of my passions is to give back to the community.

7. Should like children

a. I live with 2 kids (my nephews). I love them with all my heart and I would do anything for the as if they were my own. I would like to have a fairly large family in the future with kids of my own (distant DISTANT future) and plus I’m just one big kid myself!

8. Should have respect for self and others

a. Like the golden rule says, treat others as you would want them to treat you.

9. Should not have expectations.

a. I don’t expect anything in life, and more so from a significant other. I believe when I start having expectations in a relationship, the relationship is doomed. Rather I would revolve my life to fulfill my significant other’s needs and wants because it pleases me to see them happy.

10. Should be able to admit fault / someone without pride

a. I know I don’t have everything together. I know that I have made mistakes, so I don’t expect someone to be “perfect” either. Just admit when you do something wrong. (refer to #5)

I had a thought that having a list of what I would like to see in a person goes against my number 9. I felt like now that I have this list, I AM setting expectations. There really is only one expectation. You must have a relationship with GOD. I believe that if you have this pure and true relationship with HIM, all else will fall in line. My colleague proceeded to tell me that I look for these attributes in the person I want to date or marry because these are the attributes that I possess. He said that I truly want to have those same values I possess reciprocated back to me. This blew my mind. I knew that I might have some of the 10, but surely not all!

I don’t know. Maybe it’s me. I think in order to really find someone that will truly be a “match” you must find the ones that don’t. I believe that everything happens at the right time because God has planned it that way. Will I find Miss Right? Probably. Will I find her soon? It’s on God’s time. But for now, I’m content. I will wait on God because he has the perfect timing on everything, because he already has been there, and I trust HIM with my life.

“There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I've had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he's left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he's coming or going. I've decided that there's nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That's it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It's God's gift.

I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.
Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That's how it always is with God.” -Ecclesiastes 3

Is the grass greener?

2008-01-17T16:44:00.001-05:00

So hello all! I hope everyone has arrived home safe and sound. I just wanted to get back on track with my thoughts and my blog.

So lately, God has been teaching me about contentment. This afternoon I was in the break room waiting for my chicken and vegetables to be heated, (a "healthy" lunch mind you) when one of my colleagues walked up with a big container of Mac and Cheese. I of course stated that "Oooh that's so much better than my crappy lunch" (and by the way I soooooo enjoyed my lunch). It made me think though. Is the grass greener on the other side??

I have been guilty of wanting what I do not have. I have been guilty of not being happy with what I have. I need to remember I have all that I need. I occasionally focused on the mindset of; "Sure would be nice if I had Fill in the Blank". What about what I do have?? I loving family, an amazing home I get to live in, my health, my friends, and most importantly GOD. Have I strayed that far to think I am not blessed enough? To tell you the truth, I believe that GOD allows us to dream big dreams. Yeah, He is a sovereign GOD and we may not get all that we desire, but I believe they are not given to us to keep us in check.

"It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom." Galatians 5:19

I am making an effort to revolve my wants to be GOD-centric. Would GOD want me to get a PS3? Well probably, but I'm sure I would please HIM more in using that $400 towards others. Would GOD want me to be in a relationship??? Well technically I already am. I am in the best love relationship I can ever ask for. I am in a relationship with My First Love. Even if I don't always express my love, I always know that HIS love is unfailing. So I challenge everyone to ask themselves:

"Am I truly happy with where I am?"

"Am I content with my circumstances??? Do I trust God to provide??"

"Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Philippians 4:10-11

Purity

2008-01-09T14:39:00.001-05:00

Pure Light Shines to disband Darkness...
Darkness in my heart
Darkness in my mind
Darkness in this world
A Pure Light Shines...

Pure Light Shines to provide Salvation...
Salvation for my soul
Salvation from Sin
Salvation from the evil one
A Pure Light Shines...

Pure Light Shines to show Love...
Love of GOD
Love of our brothers and sisters
The Love Everlasting
A Pure Light Shines...

The Pure Light Shines for Life ...
A Life that was once lost in Darkness
A Life that was once without Salvation
A Life that was once Loveless
A Pure Light Shines...

And that Pure Light....

....Is Jesus

I Am In Love!

2007-12-11T06:06:00.001-05:00

I am in Love..
In love with Life..
In love with Truth..
In love with Kindness..

I am in Love..
In Love with Purity and Innocence..
With the ability to say that I don't have everything figured out..
In Love with the people in my life..

I am in Love with my Savior..
In Love with all that He is..
All that He has been..
All that I cannot Imagine..

I am Love with GOD..
In all his splendor and awe..
In all his Glory and Might..
For he Loved me First..

Blinded by Gold

2007-12-07T18:16:00.000-05:00

So a controversial movie is setting sail today in theaters near you. I’m sure we all know the title of this movie, so for all intensive purposes I will refrain from mentioning it. I understand the controversy and “immoral” perspective of this story, but have we blown this out of proportion? “This movie is an abomination to our religion” and “this movie is talking about killing God”. Have we forgotten?

“First this: God created the Heavens and Earth—all you see, all you don't see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss.” Genesis 1:1

“All this energy issues from Christ: God raised him from death and set him on a throne in deep heaven, in charge of running the universe, everything from galaxies to governments, no name and no power exempt from his rule. And not just for the time being, but forever. He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything.” Ephesians 1:20

No one story can truly stand up to the word and power of the Lord our God. Who do you think makes up the stories these people write? He has ultimate authority over ALL. He knows what is happening on other planets as well as what is happening to us in our own life. We tend to underestimate God’s influence on our world, and in our lives. We forget that God gave us the ability to reason. God gave us the ability of free will. That is the beauty of life. We can go and choose to see this movie or not, but the kicker is; Do we judge those to who do go and watch it?

The last time I checked, we don’t have the right to judge anyone. We are no better than our own neighbor. We are not holier than thou. We shouldn’t act like Pharisee’s with our “fence laws” and regulations. We should bask in the splendor of innocence and deduct our own conclusions. I am not advocating the support of the ideas or references to “killing God”, all I am saying is how do we know what this is all about without even exploring it first. If a group of people tell us numerous times that ice is hot, do we submit and believe them or do we question it and find out ourselves? All I am asking is if you are going to watch this movie, go to it with an open mind and soft heart. Then talk about it afterwards. Do we believe that we can fly on broomsticks, or that there is a man by the name of Davy Jones that lives in the sea? Do we?

So what if this guy is an atheist? Do we look at him as “unsaved” or “non-believer” or do we see him as a Creation from God? Remember many of us have had questions about our belief at one point of our lives. Even if this guy does denounce Christianity, why do we not love the one that does us wrong?

“If you find your enemy's ox or donkey loose, take it back to him. If you see the donkey of someone who hates you lying helpless under its load, don't walk off and leave it. Help it up” Exodus 23:4

My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. John 3:18

How many Christians do you think will watch this movie? Now in contrast, how many “non-believers” or agnostics do you think will attend? Maybe this is the perfect venue to help be the light to others. Love by example not by hate. Lets not be the Christians that are so closed minded and blinded by what others tell us. Let’s not get color blinded by the black and whites of “religion” but let’s see all the colors that are so beautiful.

“We must allow individuals the right to contextualize truth for themselves and believe that God is working in them in ways we may not be able to understand. Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying- the truth never changes, but how it is applied within the context in each person’s life does. I think we need to trust God and people more.”

Color Blindness; Religiously Transmitted; Diseases Ed Gungor

Fear and Love

2007-12-06T02:35:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s me again. I just got back from service. It was definitely a humbling experience. The topic was fear and love. Keeping in the pursuit of being more “transparent”, I will share what has never been exposed.

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. 1 John 4:18

So, what are my fears? Inadequacy, insignificance, and rejection.

Do I have self esteem issues? Probably. Do people really think I am insignificant and inadequate? Probably not. So why do I feel this way and how do I deal with conflicts? I guess I never felt like what I had was ever enough. I’m not talking about personal possessions or personal friends, but I never felt that who I was could never make a difference. When I was young, I was not a social butterfly, nor was I very outgoing. Yes I had friends, but I really kept to myself. It wasn’t until later in high school did I grow that proverbial “backbone”. Even though I “moved up” in the ranks of popularity, I was unhappy. I always tried to adapt myself to others and always became what others wanted me to be. I always felt that if I expressed who I was, I would be rejected, inadequate and lack significance. I always dealt with these fears with an “Iron Mask”. I put on this mask of having everything together, the mask of charm, the mask to cover anything and everything that was flawed. If for some reason, the mask became transparent, and my true feelings shined through, I would always fall into the vicious circle of using withdrawal, sarcasm and eventually numbing out to the matter at hand.

Now what? It’s not up to others to keep telling me that, “You are an amazing person” or “You are a blessing to me”. It’s up to me to get over this fear.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

I know that I was made in perfect love. I am loved with an everlasting love. I must cast out these fears. I must fix my eyes on my one and only passion. Through HIM I can do anything. I am perfect just as I am in HIS eyes.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

I will defend my heart from lies and corruption.

I will guard my heart from deception and show it truth.

For I AM loved.

I AM being pursued.

I AM HIS dream come true.

When there is doubt

2007-11-20T14:22:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Bent, twisted, and full of butterflies? Kinda like you're on a roller coaster? Lately I have been on this never-ending thrill ride. I've been learning, in my own personal journey, that its not what we do, its why we do it. I have been guilty of not being transparent. Jesus told us that we are one body. If I bleed we all bleed, if I am joyful, then we are all joyful. I exude the characteristics of happiness and strength in everyone's mind to keep them at ease, but why am I so consumed with "image management"? GOD has been telling me that "IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU HAVE FLAWS, IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU FALL ALL THE TIME" he's telling me that "I STILL LOVE YOU". I don't know, it's not that I don't trust anyone, it's not that I'm not secure with who I am spiritually, I guess I was raised that being too open, letting too many people into the real me can cause heartache....but it is not what we do its why we do it. Last night I was challenged to let people in. " All you have to do is ask". I am learning to live my life more transparent, more open to others. And always HE tells me," I STILL LOVE YOU! IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU HAVE FLAWS! IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU FALL ALL THE TIME! BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU!"

" What if the deepest, deadliest, and most terrible parts of our lives never get uprooted until we talk openly about them-confess them- to trustworthy others who can encourage us and lock arms with us to help us walk out our freedom?
This begs the question, do you have someone like that in your life, someone with whom you can be totally honest? Or are you basically doing life alone?"
Individualitis- Religously Transmitted Diseases- Ed Gungor

What else can there be?

2007-11-06T01:47:00.000-05:00

One of the most influential people I know told me to, "Plant your roots deep in someone's life if only to make them feel loved." He was right. Love is the universal language that breaks any religious, cultural or racial difference. Love is what binds families. Love knows no boundries.

Love is a movement..

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.

And the best of the three is love."

-1 Corinthians 13

Revolution Awareness Week

2007-10-02T02:33:00.000-04:00

Hey guys, sorry its been so long since I have updated my blog. I wanted to write about the past few weeks in my life. You're probably wondering, what is Revolution Awareness Week? I know Jeff that you go to a church called Revolution ( www.revolution813.com ) , but shouldn't you guys call it Outreach week? Well 1. yes, Revolution is the 20-something's ministry I am involved in and 2. no, we chose to call it awareness. Reason being- we want to show the world that there are people still out there that care.

"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble." ( 1 John 2:9-10)

So back to my week. This awareness week started on Sept 18 and "ended" on Sept 24th. Reason why I said "ended" is because it is an ongoing event ( it started on 9/18 and it ends when I die ). I never really knew how blessed I am until I served for other people. I started by passing out water bottles and blow pops to students at the local university. We didn't preach or scream out scriptures, we just wanted to make everyone's day a little brighter.

We followed that with a visit to Everyday Blessings, a local orphanage. We spent a few hours playing with the kids there. This really blew my mind! I was playing with this awesome 2 year old boy named Roberto. It broke my heart when I left.

That following monday, our whole church went downtown to serve food to the homeless. Talk about GOD presence. I truly believe that he was there touching everyone's lives! We sang some amazing worship songs, passed out care packages, and met some amazing people!

I finished my Revolution Awareness Week by taking part in a Pediatric Cancer Walk. I cannot believe the hundreds of hundreds of children that are diagnosed with cancer. It is heartbreaking and inspirational what faith these kids have in GOD.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." ( Mark 10:15 )

I challenge everyone to reconnect with why we do the things we do. We get caught up the "me" aspects in life ( and believe me I am guilty of this ) and we tend to forget the why. Have we served for others? Have we loved like GOD loves us? He sent his son to die for our sins and the sins of our children and our children's children. So how do we spread the love for one another? I have faith that GOD will help you find your calling.

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." ( 1 Peter 5:5-11 )

So Yeah I'm getting Baptized.........Again!

2007-08-31T23:21:00.000-04:00

So yeah as you noticed on my title, I am getting Baptized yet again.... You might ask, If you were baptized TWICE, why do you want to be baptized again?? Do you like the attention from getting baptized?? Well the answer is no... I was baptized as a baby when I was born. Then I was baptized about 5-6 years ago when my friend wanted me to get baptized. I am making a conscience decision to live for God. I am making the decision for all of the RIGHT reasons. I am not doing this to appease anyone, nor am I doing this because I need to. I am just trying to change from the inside out.

" I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness" ( Isaiah 60:10)

What will be my legacy?

2007-08-07T14:39:00.000-04:00

So I am going to try and FINALLY start my blog. It's therapeutic right?? Well, until you are "required" to keep up with it!

So anyway, I went to the "20-Somethings" ministry called Revolution, visit www.revolution813.com ( shameless plug ). The message this evening was, "What will be the legacy you leave behind?" The average life span is 80 years. Keeping this in mind, I have already lived about 1/3 of my life span. I had to ask myself, what have I done with the past 27 years? Have I made an impact on someone's life? Have I lived and made a difference? If we were to look at the book called our life, what do we want to be known for?

He proceeded to tell a story about patience and love. He spoke of a situation that we all can say we've been through. "You are in the express line at the grocery store and Beatrice, a 74 year old cashier is checking everyone out in the line. You see a person that has 13 items when he should have only 10, and it is taking Beatrice a while to check everyone out. The guy behind you is impatient and complaining about how slow the cashier is." Where do we see ourselves in that situation? Yes I have been that guy who joins in the old-people bashing, complaining right along. I know we all have been there.

Lets make a conscience change. Lets live for the love of people. Lets live in the love of God. Lets buy the homeless guy begging on the side of the road lunch. Lets help an elder person with their groceries. Lets re-give the blessings given to us. I was told about a couple of days ago that, " We must use our time, resources and talents to make a difference."

I ask myself again, what do i want to be known for? What will be my legacy?

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth"
John 3:18