Greetings! Here is another attempt for me to break out of my “comfort zone” and become more transparent. As you guys already know if you have been reading my blog, I am following GOD’s message to be more open with myself in order to break free of my fears in life.
Ok let’s get started. So I was talking to one of my colleagues, (he is a single’s pastor outside of our workplace) and he was telling me about what he was doing with his ministry. Of course being single, I was intrigued. He told me to write down 10 things or attributes that I would like to see in a “significant other”. He told me, “take your time” and, “put some serious thought in this list”. Of course I had some “core values” I already looked for in a person, but to have 10? I had to sit down and think. So below are the 10 attributes:
10 attributes in no specific order except for #1
1. Must have a relationship with Christ.
a. I would like to have someone that shares the same values in life as I have. Jesus must be the focus, and they should have a GOD-centric mindset. This is the ONLY foundation for a successful relationship.
2. Should be Family Oriented
a. I would like the individual to be close to their family because I am close to mine. I have a large family and they mean a lot to me.
3. Be able to communicate
a. I am a talker I like talking to people about anything. I would like to see the individual be strong minded and opinionated.
4. Would like to experience new and different things in life.
a. This is something that I look for in a person because this shows me how open they are to try new things. New food, new adventures (ie skydiving!) and I always think that a person should always look to improve themselves. We aren’t perfect right??
5. Honesty
a. Honesty is very very important. I have been lied to in past relationships and I do not care to be in a relationship that revolves around lies. Be honest with yourself first and have a honest heart for others
6. Places others before self
a. This is how I am. I try (of course I say try cause there are times when I just think about myself) to place others before my well being. I love to volunteer, and one of my passions is to give back to the community.
7. Should like children
a. I live with 2 kids (my nephews). I love them with all my heart and I would do anything for the as if they were my own. I would like to have a fairly large family in the future with kids of my own (distant DISTANT future) and plus I’m just one big kid myself!
8. Should have respect for self and others
a. Like the golden rule says, treat others as you would want them to treat you.
9. Should not have expectations.
a. I don’t expect anything in life, and more so from a significant other. I believe when I start having expectations in a relationship, the relationship is doomed. Rather I would revolve my life to fulfill my significant other’s needs and wants because it pleases me to see them happy.
10. Should be able to admit fault / someone without pride
a. I know I don’t have everything together. I know that I have made mistakes, so I don’t expect someone to be “perfect” either. Just admit when you do something wrong. (refer to #5)
I had a thought that having a list of what I would like to see in a person goes against my number 9. I felt like now that I have this list, I AM setting expectations. There really is only one expectation. You must have a relationship with GOD. I believe that if you have this pure and true relationship with HIM, all else will fall in line. My colleague proceeded to tell me that I look for these attributes in the person I want to date or marry because these are the attributes that I possess. He said that I truly want to have those same values I possess reciprocated back to me. This blew my mind. I knew that I might have some of the 10, but surely not all!
I don’t know. Maybe it’s me. I think in order to really find someone that will truly be a “match” you must find the ones that don’t. I believe that everything happens at the right time because God has planned it that way. Will I find Miss Right? Probably. Will I find her soon? It’s on God’s time. But for now, I’m content. I will wait on God because he has the perfect timing on everything, because he already has been there, and I trust HIM with my life.
“There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I've had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he's left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he's coming or going. I've decided that there's nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That's it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It's God's gift.
Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That's how it always is with God.” -Ecclesiastes 3
